The following conversation between CAFA Law Blog employees Will and Greg was recorded, pursuant to normal meeting minute recordation practices, and has been released as public record:
Will: So I was, like, sitting at my desk …
Will: Yeah, as if. Anyway, yeah, so I’m sleeping at my desk, and I’m having that dream again; you know the Jim Morrison in the desert dream.
Greg: Excellent, what did he say this time? Another concert? Does he think we should do another concert?
Will: Uh, No. He said nothing! That tall, know-it-all lawyer, you know the Army dude with the glasses, who always tells us what to do, you know . . .
Greg: Yeah, I know that guy. I hate that guy. Every time he talks to me, it makes me hurl.
Will: Yeah, me too. I hate that guy. Anyway, he shoves Jim down, face first in the sand, steps on his back, and starts shouting right in my face, you know, like the Dad in that Twisted Sister video.
Greg: Yeah, I remember that. “What are you gonna do with …”
Will: Greg. … My dream. … So he’s like, “you’re gonna read all of this stuff on this page, and you’re gonna report back to me at the end of the day soldier; and you’re gonna tell me how these cases relate to Hoffa.”
Greg: Hoffa? Ehh, is that that new death metal band from Kankakee?
Will: Uh, No. Hoffa was that dude that that reporter tried to dig up. So I wake up …
Greg: Did you have sand in your shoes?
Will: Right, sand on the feet, with this list in my hand [Contents referenced below]. There are like seven different things to read.
Greg: Seven? That would take me, like, all summer. I’d have to hurl. You read them?
Will: Yeah! As if! I had your Mom read them all. But she thought I said CAFA not Hoffa.
Will: Yeah! CAFA! And apparently, these things all mention CAFA, but she said that none of them discussed CAFA in detail, only in passing.
Greg: Why would that Army dude tell you to read them if they didn’t discuss the details of Hoffa or CAFA or whatever?
Will: Who knows. He was all authority-like, saying he “needed to know absolutely every detail ever written about Hoffa” or “CAFA” or whatever; and I was like, “Yeah, read a book.” That’s when I heard this “schling” and he clocked me with the butt of a sword. That’s when I woke up on the floor.
Greg: So what are you going to do now?
Will: Well, go back to sleep. Then when the Army dude shows up in my dream again I’ll: (1) hurl; then (2) tell him that these documents don’t discuss the details of Hoffa or CAFA or whatever, but only mention Hoffa or CAFA in passing but that somebody may want to know about them if they are really, really interested in this boring stuff.
The meeting ended at 4:15 a.m. The contents of the list are listed below:
1. Labajo v. Best Buy Stores, L.P., 478 F.Supp 2d 523 (S.D.N.Y. 2007)
2. Ex parte International Refining & Manufacturing Co., No. 1051084, 2007 WL 867220 (Ala., March 23, 2007)
3. Faigman v. Cingular Wireless, L.L.C., No. C 06-04622, 2007 WL 708554 (N.D.Cal. Mar. 2, 2007)
4. Progressive West Insurance Company v. Preciadio, 479 F.3d 1014 (9th Cir. 2007)
5. Piven v. Comcast Corp., 397 Md. 278, 916 A.2d 984 (Md. 2/9/07)
6. Gonzalez v. Al & John Inc., No. Civ. A 06-6245, 2007 WL 1490407 (D.N.J., May 18, 2007)
7. Tracy A. Thomas, Restriction of Tort Remedies and the Constraints of Due Process: the Right to an Adequate Remedy, 39 Akron L. Rev. 975 (2006).