Leon Brinston v. Koppers Industries, Inc., No. A-07-CA-902-SS (W.D. Tex. Jan. 31, 2008).

I am Leon

I speak for the trees

For the trees have no tongues

And I’m asking you sir,

At the top of my lungs.

Oh please don’t cut down another one. . .

It all started way back, such a long time ago. In the Village of Texas in the Land of America, there was a beautiful, sunny forest where the Swomee-Swans sang, the Humming-Fish hummed, and the Brown Bar-ba-loots played in the shade while eating the fruit of the Truffula Trees, which were colorful wooly trees spread throughout the land.  Enchanted by these gorgeous trees, the Kopp-lers built a small shop, where they chopped down a Truffula Tree, and out of its furry foliage knitted a "Thneed," an odd-looking garment. 

Out of the Truffula stump popped a strangle little man called Leon, who declared, "I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongue.  And I’m asking you sir, at the top of my lungs, What’s that THING you’ve made out of my Truffula tuft."  The Koppers responded, "We’re doing no harm.  We’re being useful.  This thing is a fine something that all people need.  You can use it for carpets, for pillows, for sheets, or curtains or covers for bicycle seats!"

Soon, the Kopp-lers started a huge Thneed-making business, chopping down the Truffula Trees, much to Leon’s distress.  The Kopp-lers began creating bigger axes and machines and eventually turned the Truffula Tree forest into a huge company factory.  Desolate, Leon declared, "I repeat, I speak for the trees!"  The Kopp-lers retorted, "Shut up, if you please." 

Of course, the huge factory created a lot of sludge, which made the Humming-Fish leave because their gills were clogged, and they could no longer hum.  The smog forced the Swomee-Swans out because they couldn’t sing a note. Without Truffula fruits, the Bar-ba-loots got the crummies because they had gas, and no food in their tummies.  The Kopp-lers continued to ignore Leon’s warnings until the last Truffula Tree was chopped down, leaving the Kopp-lers alone with a failed business in a desolate land under a dark smoggy sky.  

After countless attempts to get the Kopp-lers to stop cutting down the trees, Leon finally escaped through a hole in the smog, leaving behind a manifesto reading, "Class Action Complaint."  In the Complaint, Leon and his friends from the Village of Texas vowed to join together to fight the Kopp-lers, and end the destruction of the beautiful Truffula Tree forest.  Leon and his band called upon the lower Tribunal of Texas to stop the Kopp-lers from chopping down the Truffula Trees, and end the smog and the sludge.  The Kopp-lers, wary of local village interests, transferred the dispute to the upper Tribunal of America, invoking the sacred authority of the Tablet of CAFA.

The upper Tribunal of America declared that, according to the Tablet of CAFA, it, and not the lower Tribunal of Texas, should decide the fate of the Truffula Trees.  Without objecting to the decree, Leon and his band of friends, wary of the Tribunal of America, which lay far from the streets where the Grickle-grass grew, asked that the Complaint be changed so that only Leon would be left to fight for the Truffula Trees.  For Leon hoped that if he alone remained to carry on the fight, the Tribunal of America might lose its power to decide the dispute.

The Tribunal of America was surprised by Leon’s unexpected request to drop the claims of his loyal friends.  Unfortunately, the Tablet of CAFA was silent as to whether Leon could change his Complaint so that he would be the only one left to fight the Kopp-lers, thereby returning the dispute to the Tribunal of Texas.  Looking for guidance, the Tribunal of America turned to the writings of the Oracles of the Tablet of CAFA, who had written and delivered the sacred law to the people.  In these writings, the Tribunal of America discovered a revelation that, once a village dispute is delivered from the Tribunal of Texas to the Tribunal of America in accordance with the Tablet of CAFA, it must remain there, forevermore, even if all but one member of the village dropped out of the fight.  Based on the inviolate writings of the Oracles, the Tribunal of America decided that it had the sole power to decide the dispute between the Kopp-lers and Leon over the fate of the Truffula Trees, the Bar-ba-loots, the Humming-Fish, and the Swomee-Swans.

This was long, long ago.  To this day, the end of the saga of Leon and the Truffula Trees remains a mystery.  But the teachings of the Complaint have at last been revealed to all:

Unless someone like you

cares a whole awful lot.

nothing is going to get better.

It’s not.

You’re in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.

And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.

Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.

Give it clean water.  And feed it fresh air.

Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.

Then Leon

and all of his friends

may come back.