Levy v. Keystone Food Products, No. 07-5502, (E.D. Pa. 08/27/08).

A class of plaintiffs acquired BIG Booties under unusual circumstances.

Got your attention? Good. Sometime, not every time, but occasionally, the analyst must take creative license to catch the readers’ eye. The Eastern District of Pennsylvania’s decision in Levy v. Keystone Food Products lends itself to this rule. It was a story about a group of people, obviously upset about the size of their booties, a story about BIG booties and their fat content

It was a sad story because the BIG booties were upset that Veggie Booty and Pirate Booty were making their already BIG booties, well, HUGE. It was a story of deception, yes, deception! Veggie and Pirate Booty told a little white lie about just how much fat was contained in their products. Naturally the BIG booties pooh-poohed these accusations, claiming that Veggie and Pirate Booty were full of hot air and that their numbers were larger than advertised. Imagine that, someone lying about their actual size. Essentially, Veggie and Pirate Booty were trying to squeeze into something a bit too small. Something smelled rotten, so what did the BIG Booties do?

The BIG booties filed a purported class against Keystone Food Products. Come on, the BIG booties realized that they couldn’t squeeze their bottoms into individual cases. Just imagine if they had tried to do just that. Couldn’t you just hear the criticisms (and the comments):

·        The docket had so much Booty, Richard Simmons couldn’t clear it!

·        My case got bumped from the docket by all that Booty!

·        That rotten ambulance chasing attorney; he took on all that Booty because he heard that if he shook it, it might be a money maker!

·        And worst of all … I headed over to the Courthouse this morning, and when I got there I heard a Booty call! (Oh no they dit-unt!) (And no, it wasn’t that kind of booty call

 An aside from this blogger: In researching this case and story, the analyst has learned many lessons. It is beyond the scope of this post to pass them all on to our loyal readers, but the analyst feels compelled to impart some lessons learned from this post. (1) Generally, in order to avoid compulsory attendance at particularized sexual harassment remedial classes, you should avoid doing Google web or image searches for Big Booty or derivatives of this term from your work computer. (2) Generally, you should avoid suggesting that images found from the Big Booty Google image search be included in posts for national blogs bearing your employer’s name. (3) Let the IT staff at your firm know why you are performing web searches for Big Booties in advance. (4) Don’t open Big Booty content from any web-site, trusted or not.

But I digress. The class was dismissed for being filed untimely, and there was a lot of legal discussion about lots of important legal issues.

Oh yeah, the CAFA connection? The Court noted that the purported class actions were filed pursuant to CAFA. Under normal circumstances this slight connection would render this case not worthy for posting, but in this instance the case was just a bit too BOOTYLICIOUS!