First Bank v. DJL Properties, LLC, Slip Copy, 2010 WL 380904 (S.D. Ill., Jan 27, 2010) (NO. 09-CV-970-JPG).

Double header…While the post earlier today regarding this decision was much more scholarly, this post is much more enjoyable. Enjoy this free double header from your friends at the CAFA Law Blog.

The slap – known by all, felt by many, given by … well, many. It always – always – stems from some sort of inappropriate behavior or anger. It’s unavoidable in most instances, and our very system of justice … our very fabric of society … the cornerstones of our civilization practically demand the slap in some instances. You all know what we are talking about don’t you. Standard slaps that are found throughout Americana include:

(1) The SLAP shot (well, this may be Canadian. We aren’t real sure on this one.):

(you didn’t think we’d use some crappy Mighty Ducks pic here did you?)

(2) The SLAP chop:

(3) The bitch SLAP:

(4) The “No, I’m A-Rod so you can’t tag me out” SLAP:

and the classic (5) Wrist SLAP:

(We would insert a funny picture here of any professional athlete, accused of some heinous public act, and not receiving a commensurate sentence, but that has gotten to be too cliché and this here blog ain’t about clichés!)

Now you can add one to the list: the COunter-Claim-defendant Slap!

First Bank foreclosed in state court against the defendant, DJL Properties. In response, DJL Properties filed a class action counterclaim alleging state law causes of action. Believing the class action counterclaim created original federal jurisdiction over this action under CAFA, First Bank removed the action to the federal court.   The court remanded, noting that federal law does not authorize removal by an original plaintiff made a defendant via a counter-claim. The court noted that for decades before Congress passed CAFA, the law was well-established that, in the removal context, ‘defendant’ meant only an original defendant.

DJL experienced true justice – DJL got straight up COC slapped.